Posted by: cranky | June 16, 2008

May Cause Drowsiness

Reading this crap blog certainly may cause drowsiness.

About a year ago I was stopped at a red light and got hit by someone doing about 50 miles per hour who didn’t stop until the front of their car was destroyed by my trailer hitch.  Since then I’ve had persistent medical issues including, of course, my back. 

Since last week I’ve been trying to make an appointment to see my doctor at the Air Force base from which I retired a decade ago.  Well the online appointment site wasn’t working, and still isn’t working.  So I tried calling.  On Friday when I called I was told there were no appointments available.  My back and shoulder did not welcome this news.  I called the appointment number this morning when the clinic opened for active duty sick call, figuring someone would answer the phone.  Not happening.  So I’m listening to the nice elevator music when the call is transferred to an operator.

Wow!  A human voice.  She forwards the call back to the appointment desk and an automated voice picks up and tells me someone will be with me shortly and that the current wait time is 20 minutes.  Okay.  I’ll wait.  So I wander around the back yard with the pooper scooper and two dogs who want me to kick the tennis ball for them to chase.

Finally another human voice at the end of the line.  Made an appointment for mid morning.  About an hour and a half after my scheduled appointment time my doctor sees me (she’s great — kind, caring, smart, funny, and a great communicator).  Checks me out and sends me for more x-rays and I get a referral for another set of MRIs.

Yay!  My inclination for claustrophobia kicks in at word of the MRI and so my doc prescribes some valium for me to take just prior to the MRI.  Now we move on to dealing with the back pain.  She asks if I want to try physical therapy again but I don’t want to go that route because I miss too much time from work.  So she prescribes some pain medication.

Pajama Momma might recognize this stuff.  I received Lortab.  Took one at lunch time.  Since then, and up until a minute or two ago, I have felt no pain from the top of my head down to my toes.

May cause drowsiness?  Damn straight it does.



  1. oh that’s too funny. Lortab is the brand name for my hydrocodone. I don’t take it all during the day and horde it till bedtime. I’m such a crappy sleeper. This stuff helps.

  2. That warning to not operate machinery or drive should be taken seriously. But there I was driving down the interstate on my way to assist a customer. Fortunately, my being under the influence did not lessen my inhibitions to the point that I said something inappropriate to the teenaged damsel in distress who I rescued.

    She was awfully hot in that tight Pink Pony t-shirt and shorts.

    I’m not going to overdue it with these pills. I don’t like things with an inherent risk of dependence. Bed time and maybe after I get to work if I don’t have to go anywhere for five or six hours. I kind of want to horde some of these for the next time my back decides to say fuck you to me.

    Time to get ready for bed and take one of my new friends.

  3. I’m glad you found something to help with the pain. My mom hallucinated smiley faces on that stuff.

  4. Smiley faces?

    Ruh roh.

    overdue = over do

    I can see that my ability to string words together in a somewhat coherent fashion was negatively impacted by the Lortab. I’m blaming the medicine. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.

  5. Opiates. Lovely, life-affirming opiates.

    A century ago, you could walk into any pharmacy in the land and say, “I’ll have three grains of your very best heroin in alcohol, there’s a good man.”

    Stupid nanny state.

  6. She was awfully hot in that tight Pink Pony t-shirt and shorts.

    that’s a good hallucination cranky! I just have some wicked dreams, you know, about things like turtle girls.

  7. That wasn’t any hallucination. Had to reel my tongue back into my head. Very attractive young lady. Out! Out, perv thoughts, I thought.

    I took one of those pills after I got to work this morning. Pretty heavy duty effect for about five hours. Pain has returned but it is dull but I can’t take that stuff and drive so it will have to wait until bed time.

  8. That wasn’t any hallucination. Had to reel my tongue back into my head. Very attractive young lady./i>

    No honey no, you’re right. That was not a hallucination. It was real dammit! REAL!

  9. Drugs are bad, MKAY?

  10. This wasn’t the equivalent of beer goggles. This vision of loveliness was the-hot-cheerleader-who-looks-innocent-but-will-claw-the-skin-off-your-back-and-suck-the-chrome-off-your-trailer-hitch-minus-even-a-hint-of-sluttiness-hot.

    But I’m splitting the pills so I only take a half dose. A whole one is too much.

  11. *pats cranky on the head

    It’s ok baby, we believe you………really.

  12. Real. Dammit. She was real. Really.

    You know, I knew if I wrote this that no one would believe me. That’s why I always have a camera with me. But when I got out carrying the camera and wearing my Girls Gone Wild “Show Them To Me” t-shirt she immediately slipped into a burka.

    When I first saw her, I thought of Night Moves

    She was a black-haired beauty with big dark eyes
    And points all her own sitting way up high
    Way up firm and high


  14. She wanted me. Bad.

  15. *Sigh . . . another beautiful woman I’ll never have sex with.

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