Posted by: cranky | May 26, 2008

Body Painting Question

McGoo has a post about Body Painting and Flying Dicks.  Seriously, there’s a picture of a flying dick.

The body painting pictures are from Pravda, those formerly Commie propaganda bastards, God bless their atheistic hearts.  Example is below, you can click on the picture to see more of what tools this Commie propaganda machine uses to undermine Western democracies and to cause rational men to consider the benefits of investing in a Russian bride:

Some things I have to wonder about.  Several years ago I received my annual Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Calendar and I think this issue came with a DVD.  They had scenes of the body being painted, including this young lady.  Inasmuch as there were no visible hairs down there to interfere with the paint or hide the equipment, and the guy was painting the area down there, and he’s an artiste so he’s thorough, I, and Melissa Keller, both wondered if the guy was gay because he was easily maintaining his concentration on the task at, ahem, hand.  She flat out asked him if was gay [he was].

Like I say, I wonder about things.  Now I’m thinking if Melissa Keller is standing before me, bare assed naked, and I am a thorough artiste applying paint to her glorious naked body, oh yeah, I know what you’re thinking and yes, I am finger painting, am I not going to pitch a tent?  Among the heterosexual male readers (not you Rosetta) of this blog, who among you would not have to admit that your pants suddenly didn’t fit the same way they did a moment ago.

And for you ladies, if you had the same task to perform on some piece of beefcake [or on Melissa Keller ’cause that’s what we guys fantasize about since it is so freaking hawt!] could you be applying the paint to the equipment and not be thinking about the equipment?  Inquiring and perverted minds won’t to know. 



  1. When I paint naked chicks I usually use a roller but whatever.

  2. You’re an artiste Rosetta, what can I say.

  3. I am the Michelangelo of painting naked chicks.

  4. Very artistic.

  5. I was totally not ready for lovebutt, Rosetta. So I copied it and am gonna use it someday. But I attached a note to it giving the source. (I’m learning).

    Cranky – you picked (IMO) the best one from Pravda! I really like that one.

  6. Goo,

    After seeing your post and cranky’s post with the painted ladies I Googled “painted ass” and got the lovebutt picture.

    It will surely come in handy at some point in the future.

  7. Rosetta – your google cache must be really interesting.

  8. My first husband and I used to go with friends to a bar (I think it was named Rembrandt’s) in Houston a long, long time ago. They had an artist who would paint the waitresses (topless) with florescent paint in animal designs. I remember a gorilla holding barbells. I can’t find that one, but here are some like what I’m talking about.

  9. oops 🙂

  10. PA – Why just the head shot of you at the bottom. . . shy?

  11. Mine are bigger.

  12. I think I know that chick in the last picture. Curiously, no one is fessing up to sporting wood. Y’all must be gay.

  13. PA- That’s what Keira Knightly says when she sees an eight y/o at the beach.

  14. Chief, just how thin is that woman?

  15. cranky – I’m not sure but, the last time she ate a hamburger, she looked like a famine victim with a distended belly.

  16. Toothpicks got more meat on them, huh?

    That’s sad and very unattractive.

  17. I had to paint a friend of mine during art school, for a Hallowe’en costume (seriously: we got graded on our Hallowe’en costumes. It was art school, okay?).

    She was in a leotard, and it was still one of the most toe-curlingly embarrassing things I’ve ever done. Painting her…various…areas.

  18. Weasel, I believe my mileage would vary. Unless it was a guy as the canvas, then I would run screaming from the room. Now Rosetta and someone of the same gender, he/she wouldn’t have a problem with that.

    Hoping your runaway runs home to you.

  19. Yeah, this is not what I call attractive;

  20. I am the Michelangelo of painting naked chicks.

    You’d think I wouldn’t click on a link like that, but I would and I did.

  21. You’d think I wouldn’t click on a link like that, but I would and I did.

    You’re welcome.

  22. rat bastage

  23. Did we have another kaboom around here?

  24. Bomb fall down go BOOM.

  25. Secondaries.

  26. cranky – That, my friend, was awesome!

  27. *yawn
    I sure could use a cuddle

    *grabs one of cranky’s many sheep

  28. M-o-o-o-o-o-m-y!

  29. *closes Balance Sheet’s eyelids*

    *pulls blanket over its head*

  30. Cranky! You wake up!

    Rosetta! He’s not dead! He’s not! He’s not!

    Cranky’s just asleep. Wake up cranky! Wake up!

    Please, you’ve got to wake up!


  31. So much porn. So little time.

    I’m trying to get my computer controlled shortwave receiver and its software to run properly. Almost there. Guess I need to learn to build my own antennas too. And I’m thinking about getting a ham license and learning Morse code (my dad was a radio operator in WW 2) so I’ve been surfing the web sites harboring the epitome of geekdom. Got to find those numbers stations bmac wrote about.

  32. don’t forget to set aside a little time each day to dig your bunker

  33. It’s all coming together for you now, huh PJ? Cranky’s plan to survive the turmoil to come. How do you know I don’t already have the bunker built and stocked to last the coming storm — including the means to continue the human race — their names are Buffy and Tiffany.

  34. I’m holding out for a 17 y/o Swedish Au Pair. I hoping her name will be Inga!

  35. This is an example of how fucking weird my family is. My brother, who for Y2K had all sorts of tanks buried in my parents yard (he got my parents paranoid too) huge tank of water, huge tank of gas…..stockpiles of food. anyhoo as you can see, nothing happened.

    Well the night my friend Danny dies, this same brother calls to see how I’m doing. He says, Shauna, I just want you to know, the pain you’re feeling now, is nothing compared to the pain you’ll be feeling in a couple months the way this country is going. The politics are insane. We’re going to be living in bunkers in South Dakota.

    He was dead serious. His bizarreness did however, distract me momentarily from my pain at losing Danny.

  36. PJ, I guess you can thank your brother and worry about him at the same time.

    I’m more worried about things like hurricanes. So I plan on getting a generator at some point so I can have some electricity. I wish I lived way out in the country so I had some ground and I could grow my own veggies and be away from cities. And yes, if things fell into chaos I wouldn’t want to be around it and I have the tools and skills to defend myself. And as long as Buffy and Tiffany are around, life will be worth living.

  37. Who’s Tiffany? huh? I will knock her out.

  38. Tiffany is Buffy’s backup in my plan to continue the human race by doing my manly duty and provide some different gene lines.

  39. cranky is the man. . . willing to take one for the team! With both Buffy and Tiffany!

  40. You know, I don’t I’ve ever watched one single episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

    course you could have meant, buffy of “Family Affair”

  41. Buffy is an entertainer. Her job is to entertain me while not wearing much in the way of clothes.

  42. 7
    kerry marie


  43. This thread has to be in the top ten of all time!

  44. 7

  45. 4

  46. Eight33n

  47. Rosetta is part of the Zionist plot to take over and control the world. It can be clearly seen from the code he is sending here.



  48. Juan

  49. That’s perverted Rosetta.

  50. You know I didn’t think it would ever happen, but I actually have that thing memorized now.

  51. Kaboom!

  52. Kaboom!

  53. Hey cranky, what the hell are you doing?

    Are you having sex with your shortwave radio or something?

    How’s that coming by the way?

  54. dit-dit-dit dot-dot-dot

  55. Listening to Radio Hungary for a moment there. The continuous wave stuff ditditditdahdahdah I’m not picking much up on that band. There’s some neat shit out there. There are faxes you can get of weather shit out of Boston, Halifax, and New Orleans via shortwave. China has a huge SW presence out there. Nothing out of Iraq and I can’t pick up anything out of Iran even though I can’t find anything that shows they broadcast anything in English. I’d just like to catch the signal.

    I need a good antenna, I suspect the one I have is not that good except for really strong signals and those that are local. Got Ham Radio for Dummies today along with Sinatra Nothing But The Best which is an excellent collection of music by Sinatra.

    I’m thinking I’d like to learn Morse Code because my father was a radio operator in the Army during WWII. My youngest sister sent me a photograph of him in a radio room with a morse key and transmitter. You no longer have to pass a Morse Code test to get a Ham license but it would be nice to learn it just to learn it.

    Met a crewman on a LST from WWII today. After D-Day they sent his ship to Bremerton, Washington to prepare for the invasion of Japan. Neat guy who just returned from the Hero Flights out of Alabama for WWII vets to go to DC to see the World War II Memorial.

    Copy the SO Chief.

  56. I’ve always wondered this. Why do they call it “Ham” radio?


  57. Rosetta, way back in the good ‘ol days, radio enthusiasts had to make most of their equipment. The chassis or case for early home-built amateur radios was most often made from a discarded (after eating the ham) canned ham container.


  58. Now, who wants to know why doctors are called “quacks”?

  59. BTW: Rosetta – that was complete bullshit. Just wanted you to know. But it sounded good, eh?

  60. dah


  61. McGoo, that’s a pretty good made up answer for the derivation of Ham and completely on the money as far as one theory goes (a meat tin is a natural sound amplifier) and is mentioned on page 10 in the book I’m reading, Ham Radio for Dummies, which defines ‘Ham’ as originally meaning a poor operator.

  62. T



    Five hundred channels and nothing is on, huh? There’s a race at Dover on ESPN 2. And someone, I’m not naming names, put got the Navy car loose and it drifted up into the wall.

    Learn this stuff and comment in morse code and drive PJM completely insane.

  63. MCPO, I decoded it using the image at this link:

  64. Audible code:
    V = di-di-di-dah
    H = di-di-di-dit

  65. CT = Cryptological Technician
    Sand Crab = Civilian working for the Navy

  66. For those who don’t know, the absolute MUST HAVE guide every year is Passport to World Band Radio. Gotta buy it every year; stuff changes.

    The covers are always done by Gahan Wilson (readers of National Lampoon from the back when it was funny days will know who that is). He’s a fan. Go figure.

  67. Weasel, did Wilson always do those macabre cartoons? I remember the name but I’m trying to picture some of his work without actually, you know, going and looking for it. I’m lazy.

    I should have ordered the Passport when I ordered Ham Radio for Dummies and the new Sinatra CD –Nothing But The Best, which came out at the beginning of May, is perfectly titled. My mother was a huge fan of Sinatra. Almost 50 years later and his music and talent have withstood the test of time.

    Radio Nederlands is doing a segment on what it is like to live as a homosexual in Muslim countries. Begins with a story of the arrest of gays in Egypt at a floating nightclub named, I shit you not, The Queen. They were sentenced to up to five years in prison and the guy they interviewed was naturally raped by the guards. But I guess the guards didn’t view their having anal sex with another man as a homosexual act.

    Islam is so coherent.

  68. How did y’all get here from body painting?

  69. Cranky,

    This is my first time posting on your site. I am very excited about this! How is your Numbers Stations research coming along?

    PS I love apple pie too.

  70. I am disturbed that Mrs. Rosetta’s avatar is also a dingleberry.


  71. Mrs. Rosetta’s avatar is wearing heels. How appropriate, classy, and ladylike. I have not yet heard a numbers station but I’m still searching.

    I like pie too. You should have been here a few months ago when this was like a food blog.

  72. PattyAnn, this blog suffers from attention deficit disorder.

  73. You should have been here a few months ago when this was like a food blog.

    Those were the good old days…

    Also, I told Mrs. Rosetta to ask “Where’s my apple pie at, bitch?” but she wouldn’t do it. Haha.

  74. The question becomes, asked of myself, do I buy some apple pie or do I make some apple pie? Will I share? No way.

    But I am making Cranky’s Famous Shepherd’s Pie this afternoon. Will I share? No way.

  75. You a selfish bastard!

    That’s funny that you mentioned Shepherd’s Pie. I was in the mood for Irish food last night so we went to this place:

    I had the corned beef boxty and Mrs. Rosetta had the Shepherd’s Pie. The best Shepherd’s Pie I’ve ever had by one million miles.

    It was excellent.

  76. I don’t think I could compete with Tigin but I like my version using ground beef and a bunch of veggies baked under my fantastic mashed potatoes.

  77. Do you use a gravy?

    The dish last night had some kind of Guiness gravy reduction sauce.

    It was so good I almost had sex with it.

  78. Got have gravy. Poured over the meat mixture and then topped by the mashed potatoes. It does rock.

    Cranberry sauce on the side and a big glass of sweet tea and I’m a happy camper.

  79. Technically, yours is a cottage pie. In a shepherd’s pie, the meat is lamb.

    Hey, I’m going to spend the rest of my life eating English food. At least let me have the consolation of being a know-it-all about it.

    Cranberry sauce? That’s odd, isn’t it? I’ll eat it on all kinds of fowl, but I never heard of it on beef.

  80. Hahahaha! Cranky eats “cottage” pie!!

    That sounds gay for some reason.

    Tigin’s shepard’s pie was made with ground sirloin and not lamb. And they served it with beer bread.

    DAMN it was good.

  81. Well, cottage pie it is then. Unfortunately, despite having gone to grocery stores twice this weekend, I failed, miserably I might add, to pick up any milk. Without milk there would be no mashed potatoes. And without mashed potatoes there shall be no cottage pie.

    Cheeseburger and fries, some watermelon, and sweet tea instead.

    I just love cranberry sauce and will put it on just about any plate of food except spaghetti. My mother used to love to make a turkey sandwich the day after Thanksgiving and top the turkey with cranberry sauce.

    Bad storm coming this way at the moment.

    No number stations found yet. This morning I listened to a Morse code signal that repeated itself over and over and over again up around 28.381 MHz. Since I don’t know any Morse code yet I could not decipher it.

    I did order the study materials so I can prepare for the Technician class amateur radio license examination.

  82. Cranky – Don’t feel bad. I make mine with ground venison. “Cottage” this!

  83. You’re really taking on this shortwave radio thing aren’t you?

    Good for you.

    Maybe I’ll buy a transmitter and broadcast fake spy codes.

    It would be funny if you were listening one night and you hear through the static:

    cranky kiss my ass

    cranky kiss my ass

  84. Chief, I still get Pennsylvania Game News and the Fishing and Boating magazine. What’s the annual limit on deer now? There’s a gazillion more deer than there used to be.

    I used to hunt on a State Game Land, SGL 211 I think, just north of Fort Indiantown Gap near Lykens in northeast Dauphin County.

  85. cranky – One antlered deer per hunting license year. An antlerless deer (doe) with a required antlerless license.

  86. cranky- Here’s a good site for you.

  87. Way back when I was still there it was one deer, a buck or a doe with a doe license. So you can take two deer per year if you get a doe license as well?

  88. Yup! And somewhere in your Spam-box is a link to the game commission’s regional site for my area. There is some good stuff there.

  89. De-spammed. Found another one of your’s in the spam filter this morning about Keira Knightly. I guess WordPress doesn’t like the Navy.

    I miss Penn’s Woods and real cheese steaks. And Tasty Kakes.

  90. Maybe I’ll buy a transmitter and broadcast fake spy codes.

    HAHAHAHAHA! He just learned how to imbed a link.

  91. Tasky Kake Tandy Cakes! YUMMY!!!

  92. HAHAHAHAHA! He just learned how to imbed a link.

    You know why sometimes my comments don’t have the link at first and then they do?

    Because I forgot the code to imbed a link. So I post my comment and then go to the dashboard and put the link in that way.


    I’m a fucking retardgenius.

  93. Be right back

    …go to the dashboard…

    I’m baaaaaaaack!

  94. This is a weird post. Started off with something about Commies, body painting, flying dicks, shortwave radio and numbers stations, food, deer hunting and Tasty Kakes in Pennsylvania, and we’re back to shortwave radio and fucking with someone else’s comments.

    What’s the point? This is like Seinfeld — there is no point. This is almost as bad as writing a post about bad names for children’s cereals.

  95. Toasted Hillary Vay-Jay-Jay Flakes

  96. Chelsea’s Skin Bits
    Fortified with 30% more zits!

  97. Count Chocula Dingleberries

  98. Frankenballs!

  99. What Rosetta strings together to wear while out cruising for his/her differently gendered prey: Lucky Charms.

  100. So that’s why rosetta. I just thought you kept forgetting to put the link in. Well now I feel better, I know you’re not completely retarded. Just a little bit.

  101. I’m a fucking retardgenius.

    Hey cranky! Some rat bastard son of a bitch altered my comment!!

    Just thought you should know.

  102. I’ll get right to the sleuthing. You can bet your bottom dollar we’ll locate the perpetrator and appropriate action will be taken. I’m thinking it was Obama — he doesn’t care for bitter, typical white people and if that isn’t you, I don’t know what is. So I’m blaming Obama and you should too.

    BLTs on the menu. Rib eye and baked potatoe tomorrow.

  103. Too hot to eat here. The Missus made some mac salad and I had an iced tea.

  104. I love blt’s. it’s been too hot to eat here as well. have been living on orange slices the past couple days.

  105. Tomorrow nite it will be fresh tomatoes, Mozzarella di Bufala Campana, basil from the garden and some EVOO. Followed by pulled pork sammiches with homemade ‘slaw.

  106. The tomato came from the local farmer’s market, as did a pint of blueberries. And I bought a quart of raw unprocessed honey, the product of local bees and beekeepers for $12, which I”m sure is way cheaper than the processed equivalent in a store. I always put a couple of tablespoons of honey in each pitcher of iced tea that I make and some in the oatmeal I eat five frickin days a weeks.

    Pulled pork sammiches are the bomb! Coleslaw too.

    You feeling better PJ? I hope so.

  107. YAY! cranky that’s the est kinda honey to have, not that processed crap from the store. MCPO, all that food sounds delicious.

    cranky to be honest I’m in the worst pain I’v ever felt in my life, but it is getting better. I’m dying to see my new bellybutton and I miss my kids. see how negative i can be in one paragraph? holy cow how ugly

  108. What did they give you for the pain? I’ve been lucky in that I haven’t been hurt real bad very often so I rarely have received pain medication so I don’t have a point of reference. I think I had something with codeine after my car accident and I think they also gave me some Darvocet. They were pretty effective I guess.

    Hope you feel better soonest!

    More BLTs today and a ribeye and baked potatoe. Yum.

  109. oxycodone and my mommy made me a blt w/avocado today sweet, huh?

  110. I have to finish the tomato and lettuce I bought the other day so tonight I’ll make tuna fish sandwiches. I’ll crush up some Fritos chips and mix that in with the tuna fish. Toast, cheese, lettuce, tuna fish, and tomato. Chips and a pickle on the side and I’ll be happy. Dogs, not so much since they don’t get any.

    Fifteen more minutes and I leave for lunch. I’m starving — sorry to bring that up if your diet is restricted.

    When I was buying the honey on Saturday I could get it with the comb in, a lighter colored honey, or without the comb, which is what I bought. The honey is darker without the comb. What’s the difference?

  111. nope, no restricted diet, but I’m making sure I eat very well.

    not sure why it’s darker w/out the comb, but tha’t how i always get mine (without) and it’s dark

  112. I’m hungry. Weekdays my breakfast doesn’t vary. Oatmeal and toast. However, on Saturday I bought a pint of blueberries so a handful of them make it into my oatmeal with some honey, and a sprinkle of regular sugar.

    I was gonna buy a pizza Friday night but ended up helping a friend move some of his mother-in-law’s furniture to a senior’s home and got done too late to go pick up pizza. On the way home I couldn’t get the gate open to where we store the trailer so I had to take the trailer back to my house. That foiled my back up plan to hit McDonalds for a Quarter Pounder with cheese and large fries. I love McD’s fries and have to have some every few weeks.

    Two more hours before lunch for me and I’m torturing myself writing about food. Arrrrrrrrrrgh!

  113. Thank you for your site 😉
    I made with photoshop backgrounds for myspace or youtube and ect..
    my backgrounds:
    take care and thank you again!

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