Posted by: cranky | May 19, 2008

158 Years Ago

Do you know what happened this week back in 1850, 158 years ago?

California became a state.
The State had no electricity.
The State had no money.
Almost everyone spoke Spanish.
There were gunfights in the streets.
So basically, it was just like California today, except the women had real breasts and the men didn’t hold hands.

Thanks to Lesa.



  1. How was the teacher’s union? Were there benefits? How about shitpot full of lobbyists in Sacramento?

  2. Probably not the unions and lobbyists but once the Navy got a port on the left coast I’m sure the number of men holding hands went way up.


  3. The Air Force was only established so the Army MPs would have dates for the Regimental Dining out.

  4. Good one!

  5. U sooooo funny!

  6. Friend of mine who lives in Houston sent me this one. She comes up with some good jokes.

  7. Does your friend in Houston know you have a tendency to kill funny?

    cranky, would you rather have Obama as President for 8 years for have to sexually pleasure Hillary for 8 hours?

  8. Yeah, she said about 20 years ago that I made boring sandwiches. I reminded her of that about two years ago. Memory = fantastic. Sense of humor = need an implant.

    I’m voting for Barry if those are the requirements. Do not want.

  9. Ahhh, cranky, com’on. Take one for the team, wouldja?

  10. Seen those Hillary nut crackers? That’s asking way too much.

  11. You’re a selfish bastard, cranky.

    I thought you loved your country.

  12. This ain’t got nothing to do with love of country. What you and the Chief propose is the sexual equivalent of travelling up river in the Heart of Darkness as the Martin Sheen character to be sodomized with The Barbed Cock of Satan™ by the Jabba the Hut Marlon-Brando- as-Hillary-Clinton character.

    Again. Do. Not. Want.

  13. You could always get drunk first…

  14. Don’t drink so that won’t work. Nothing will work. And I do mean nothing.

  15. Hahaha. How long have you been on the wagon?

  16. Twenty some odd years. I’m pretty boring. But I am planning on a big thick piece of red meat for the grill this weekend. And a baked potato and some garlic bread.

  17. Ha. I think you’re pretty fun in a retard jackass kinda way. 🙂

    If you make it garlic cheese bread you have a deal, bitch.

  18. So this is where all the dorks hang out huh?

  19. Nice. Here comes PJ with her slams. Got something against dorks?

    You dorkist!

  20. Um, uh, why no cranky. *cough

    I think dorks are the bestest……….well they’re neck and neck with geeks in my book.

  21. cranky,

    I thought you told me you banned what’s-her-name?

  22. Rosetta, my patience is wearing thin. I’m lifting the banhammer into the air, who knows where it falls.

    Downside, if I ban her then there are only two readers: you and MCPO Airedale. And then who gets picked on?

  23. Yeah, I know. . . my turn!

  24. Why don’t you ban the winged dingleberry?

    He doesn’t contribute shit to this conversation.

  25. Cram it up your ass, you over-served, under-serviced, effete douchenozzle!*

    * I mean that in only the nicest way, faggot.

  26. Uh, Chief, I think he was meaning my avatar when I’m not logged in. But you go ahead with that and have fun.

    I’ll be here on the sidelines watching.

  27. Oh. . . well, in that case. YEAH! Ban that winged dingleberry!!!

    What a waste. I actually enjoyed my tiny little tirade.

  28. Hahahahaha!!!

    MCPO answers to “winged dingleberry”!!!

    That’s some funny shit.

    MCPO, your new Delta Tau Chi name is MCWD.

  29. I’ll have to think up a Delta Tau Chi name that means, “over-served, under-serviced, effete douchenozzle”

  30. *flips hair
    *smacks gum
    OH.MY.GAWD! total nerds

  31. Flipping hair is a total flirting gesture. . . who you flirting with now PJM?

  32. You need to see Courtney Thorne-Smith flip her hair if you want to see hair flipped. I’d supply a YouTube of that but it doesn’t exist. It seems most of the YouTubes with her in them show her acting as the lake water temperature thermometer.

  33. I actually have a pixie haircut atm. Can’t really flip my hair.

  34. Downside, if I ban her then there are only two readers: you and MCPO Airedale. And then who gets picked on?

    I read this stupid blog too you know.


    Ok, I get here by accident when I try to click Conservative Belle on my blogroll…but Still

  35. Okay, we’re up to three or four readers but I’m a victim/beneficiary of the mis-click. Maybe we should start taking roll and noting absences.

    Things I’m looking for on the internet. The return of Weasel’s Damien; Rosetta saying something smart, and McGoo’s smut. Two of the three are possibilities with one of those two being a certainty, the smut, and Damien is probably playing welfare cat sucking the teat of a cat who is not his mother so he’ll be home when the momma cat figures out who the interloper is, and the third is just not gonna happen.

  36. Bmac – Do you really read the blog or just come over here in your endless pursuit of PJM?

  37. ninja please, bmac ignores me.

    anyhoo, I get 3-5 hundred hits a day on my blog and most of them are looking for mother son incest because of that video of the mom catching her son spanking his monkey and boobs and ladybugs.

    surprisingly my biggest search term is actually ladybugs.

  38. Grillfriend, please! Everyone checks-in, sees a three day old post and figures there was a special on Newcastle at the Winn-Dixie or you went into labor.

  39. *ignoring PJM*

    MCPO, I’ve been (accidentally) reading this crapfest since before I even knew what the fuck an MCPO was. We go waaay back, me and Cranky. Cranky knows my real name, and my wife emails him bad jokes.

    *still ignoring PJM*

    So there.

  40. Did you see that? I told you!! Right there! You saw that didn’t you?

    Do I have any witnesses here? Bmac totally ignored me! He did! He soo did!

    Anyhoo, I don’t buy my Newcastle at Winn-Dixie, I go to Publix. TYVM! hhhhmph!

  41. We dinint have them high class Publix on the Westside when I lived in Jax.

    Bmac – I’m beginning understand.

  42. Did you guys hear a buzzing sound?

  43. I thought it was tinnitus.

  44. I didn’t hear anything.

  45. bastards

  46. What? That was certainly uncalled for.

  47. PJM is now making assumptions about my genetic lineage?!

  48. Ah, PJ we still luvs you around these parts. Please forgive us so we can keep this going until there are at least as many comments as there are words in the post.

  49. cranky – That will kill it for sure!

  50. Word

  51. *kicks door in*

    *smells death*

    *sets Balance Sheet on fire*

    *runs away*

  52. *runs back*

    *steals metal plate out of MCWD’s head*

    *sells it for $7*

  53. *Forest Service aircraft drop flame retardant [Heh!] on Balance Sheet. Saves the day!*

    Smokey the Bear says, “Only you can stop blog fires by kneecapping the arsonist Rosetta.”

  54. *Runs into Balance Sheet*
    * Puts steel-toed boot in Rosetta’s ass*
    *Retrieves metal plate*

  55. I so should go ahead and edit Rosetta’s last comment. But I won’t because I have integrity.

  56. pajama momma told me that you two are going to California to get married.


  57. I heard you and Mesablue are already in line behind Ellen and Portia di Rossi.

  58. # 60. That’s it. The thread is dead.

  59. cranky, did you send out the wedding invitations like I told you to do?

    Did you call the caterer? Did you find out how many people wanted peanut butter and jelly and how many wanted egg salad?

    I hope the florist only does dandelions like I asked. They’d better be intact dandelions too. If I find one “wishie” missing off my dandelion clock there will be hell to pay.

    Cranky, did you make sure the accordion brothers are able to play at the reception?

    Also, I hope you’ve written our vows dear. You know I’m too busy to bother with such drivel. That’s your job sweetness.

    Also, don’t forget to get your tuck let out, you know, the one you wore at that funeral 12 years ago? It seems you’ve put on a few pounds since then and we need to have it altered.

    Awwwwwwww, I’m so excited! This will be such a wonderful day. Provided you do what you’re told cranky.

  60. No it ain’t!

  61. You’re darn right it ain’t. Me and cranky’s gettin hitched.

  62. Sorry, PJM, I’ve been really busy, too busy to do any of those things, and I’ll be way too busy for the next decade or two to do any of those things. Hope you don’t mind picking up the slack.

  63. I don’t want a marriage license. A weekend learner’s permit will be fine, thank you.

  64. No no no no no, pajama momma.

    cranky and MCWD are getting married, not you.

    Maybe they will let you be the little flower girl since you’re only 3’8″.

  65. but I’ve never had a real wedding. shotgun/courthouse wedding is just not the same.I dont’ even have a ring and cranky was gonna get me a big one.

    this was going to be my one chance and you just ripped it away from me.


  66. pajama momma told me that you two are going to California to get married.


    Ok I’m confused

  67. cranky said he wouldn’t have me. . . said he was saving himself for another weekend with rosetta.

  68. pajama momma told me that you two are going to California to get married.

    Ok I’m confused

    If you’ll notice the two comments prior to mine, they were made by cranky and MCWD.

    For some reason when you read my comment, you assumed that I meant you and cranky were getting married.

    I meant that YOU (pajama momma) told ME (Rosetta) that those two (cranky and MCWD) were marrying each other (cranky and MCWD).

    Now that you’ve ruined my hilarious joke, do you have any other questions?

  69. So, Gunnery Sergeant Highway, what do you think of this little exercise?

    Well Colonel, with all due respect, this is one gigantic cluster fuck.

  70. Better yet:
    Sgt. Frantz: “All right, listen up. You people will not die on me in combat. You fucking new guys will do everything you can to prove me wrong. You’ll walk on trails, kick cans, sleep on guard, smoke dope and diddey-bop through the bush like you were back on the block. Or on guard at night you’ll write letters, play with your organ, and think of your girl back home. Forget her. Right now, some hair head has her on her back and is telling her to fuck for peace.”

  71. Now that you’ve ruined my hilarious joke, do you have any other questions?

    cranky will you marry me?

  72. Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free.

  73. You’re right.

    cranky, I’m sorry, I’m gonna have to call this wedding off. You’ve been giving me so much, for so long for free, I think if we got married, it just wouldn’t be the same between us.

  74. Why do brides smile so brightly on their wedding day?

  75. I wouldn’t know

  76. ‘Cause she knows she have given her last blow job!

  77. No habla.

    I’m a cow Rosetta? Is that what you mean? Cause if I’m a cow, you’re a sheep.

  78. Moo.

  79. Baaaaaaaaaaaaaa.

    *Rosetta says back in the day when men were men and the sheep were afraid: Hey Mr. Manly Man, why are you dropping trou back there behind me? Hey! Aieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!*


  81. That sheeps mouth says no but that tail is screaming Yes!

  82. Sicko.

  83. D-a-a-a-a-d-y!

  84. A sixty word post gets over 80 comments? Check the blog header. Rosetta says, “the worst comments ever in the history of the innernetubes”™ I think we’re living up to the unofficial motto of this blog.

    And who is this stargazer asshole/bitch over at PJ’s blog?

  85. PJ has a blog?

  86. A sixty word post gets over 80 comments?

    I wouldn’t actually call these comments.

    They’re more like droppings of crap.

    Especially MCWD’s musings.

  87. cranky check your email

  88. Yes, cranky. Check it.

    Good comment, pajama momma.

  89. you need to check your too rosetta btw *cough

  90. No.

  91. fine

  92. they both say the same thing, yours and crankys

  93. I’m sure there are no STDs — not that I’ll ever have any reason to find out. That was wrong of me to imply that and leaving open to question the gender of stargazer was probably inappropriate as well.

    Still, what a whiny bitch.



    isn’t she/he though?

  95. Did I miss something fun?

  96. no

  97. Rosetta – If I had any feelings you would have hurt them. As it is, it is pleasure knowing a bastard as miserable as yourself. *doffs hat*

  98. Ha! Same here MCDW.

    You’re my favorite vet that answers to the name “Winged Dingleberry”.

  99. That’s Master Winged Dingleberry, you disrespectful lout!

  100. It’s not master chief winged dingleberry.

    You know my BiL is a master chief as well MCPO.

  101. PJ – I did not know that. Since only 2% of the enlisted force are Master Chiefs, he must be pretty darned good at what he does.

  102. Master Chief Photographer’s Mate


  104. Photographers Mate was the very first enlisted aviation rating.

  105. this is his wife

  106. This is the house that Jack built

  107. Can I be done leaving comments on this thread now?

  108. Permission granted

  109. As usual I am a day late (ok 2) and whatever.
    But I will add a comment and bump up the #’s for cranky

  110. sweet, I have a cyclops avataqr with a BRAIN!!!!!11!

  111. ok I have had too much Val-U-rite, Avatar fumble fingers hit a q somehow

  112. q’s are cool. Avataqrs are warrrior avatars.

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