Posted by: cranky | May 10, 2008

57 Varieties

Team Odumba revealed to the American public that there are 57 states in the Union.

I did not know that.  My memory is that when I was about seven years old the 50th state was added.  Maybe I missed something, kind of blacked out for a decade or two or three, but I don’t recall any additions of states during the intervening years.

Yesterday The Ticket broke the stunning news of America’s acquisition of seven, maybe eight, new states, according to future president Barack Obama.

He was speaking at the start of a two-day swoop through Oregon, which is already a state.

Maybe Barry was dreaming of Team Kerry’s Heinz election funding source and he was seeking some of that fag hag bag Teresa-something-Heinz-Kerry crazy election money.

Perhaps it is just Obama’s standard stump speech I saw on the news, but he spoke of McCain’s indorsement of “Bush’s failed economic policies.”  I guess Obama means the essentially full employment, low interest rate, and record home ownership rates [particularly among minorities] under Bush’s failed economic policies.  Yeah, in Obamay World those things are bad things.  Under Obama we need record unemployment, high interest rates, and minorities living under bridge overpasses in cardboard boxes feasting on moldy government cheese [scrape off the green stuff — the cheesy good stuff is under there somewhere].  That way Obama will have something to do that he and his wife can make some serious jack at — organizing the unemployed, those burdened with high interest rates, and the homeless to demand more of the same from Slave Master O and his bitch Michelle.

Obama is a Marxist economic retard.

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Responses

  1. Obama *is* a Marxist economic retard. Good thing the Republican are nominating an open-borders, AGW believing, free-speech inhibiting Euro-socialist to give the American people a real choice!

  2. HAhahahahaha.

    *runs off weeping*

  3. Cranky, for a second there, I thought the title said “57 Varities” instead of “57 Varieties”

  4. *Runs to dictionary.*

    Shit.

    Mea culpa, as a Moron, I am naturally afraid of any word that begins with “va”, it is part of our charter, hence my earlier spelling difficulties pointed out to me by someone who has one of those things that begins with “va” but apparently isn’t afraid of it. Fixed.

  5. At least is wasn’t vagaries!

  6. It’s all a reasonable misunderstanding. For obvious reasons he thought the following were states:

    1) Guam
    2) Puerto Rico
    3) Hope
    4) Change
    5) The Black Church
    6) The Nation of Islam
    7) Michelle Obama’s Bitch Ass

    You can see how easy it is to make that mistake.

  7. Marshall Islands too I think. But he left out Coney Island. Gays are furious he left our Fire Island.

    And how could he overlook Australia? Or Canada. And the Toe of Camel?

  8. If he got the number of states correct he would be accused of being “too white” by the black community.

    It’s like ebonics except with numbers.

    Word.

  9. Ebonics – I was trying to watch a post-game interview of an NBA player the other night. Even the closed captions had no idea what Homey was sayin’

    No wha I’m sayin’?

  10. Yes, I know whatcha sayin’:

  11. Imo = I’m going to

    Fidina = I’m fixing to

    Axt = asked

  12. Yo.

  13. Wassup?!!!!

  14. Cranky, here I set you up to ridicule my eyesight, and you have to go and admit you misspelled the word. I have to train you better.

  15. Yes, mistress. Will there be lashes and thigh-high leather boots? And fishnet stockings and a leather bustierre?

    *This comment is going into McGoo territory.*

  16. No fishnet stockings. Those things are absolute hell on the knees.


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