Posted by: cranky | April 10, 2008

Six Word Memoir Meme — Tag, You’re It

Got tagged by NiceDeb, Barry in CO, and Steamboat McGoo.  So this is going to be a back-atcha and I’ll double up on Pajamma Momma [who now thinks she’s the goddess of HTML], Rosetta the culotte wearer, and PattyAnn, The Hostages’ resident angel.  Ha!  Check the rules, you culotte wearers.

The Rules: 1. Write your own six word memoir. 2. Post it on your blog and include a visual illustration if you want. 3. Link to the person that tagged you in your post and to the original post if possible so we can track it as it travels across the blogosphere. 4. Tag at least five more blogs with links. 5. Leave a comment on the tagged blogs with an invitation to play…

Six words:

The left lane is for passing.

Signal, pass, signal again, and get back over.  Drives me nuts the number of asshats out there who think when they get in the left [PASSING] lane that everyone else is limited to their speed.  And in Montgomery, every morning there will be a line of cars in the passing lane stacked up behind a lead car like they’re running under the caution flag at Talladega.  Move the fuck over.

Now me, I go around these asshats on the right.  But if I could, I would get up into them, get them loose, and put them into the wall [hey, I drove that joke like I stole it, which I actually did, steal it that is].  I really, really want to bump them hard to get their attention.  Their excuse, we’ll I’m gonna make a left turn.  Well, lady, you’ve been gonna make that left turn for the last ten fucking miles.  Move the fuck over.

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Responses

  1. Dont.
    Get.
    Me.
    Started.
    On
    Left lane.
    Drivers.

  2. you’d like me cranky. I’m speed racer. I do have a problem with backing into things however, so just dont’ get behind me.

  3. Why does everyone think I am nice?

    Wow, that answers the meme. hahaha

    (Thank you for calling me an angel, cranky)

  4. ^ #3 😛

  5. I did a post back in Nice Deb’s infancy on traffic dilemmas:

    http://nicedeb.wordpress.com/2007/06/04/the-remnant-and-traffic/

    What do you do when you are in the fast lane, going oh…15 miles over the speed limit, and you find yourself approaching someone going only 5 or 10 miles over, do you tailgate until he/she moves over, or do you keep a polite distance, and pass on the right, at your first opportunity? I don’t mind telling you that I have a rather heavy right foot, and I find myself in this situation quite frequently. I see a lot of tailgaters. A LOT. They will get right up on the slower car’s bumper until it moves over. This would appear to be a winning strategy. Except that it really is rude, and unsafe to tailgate. And the fact is, those of us who find ourselves in this position are the ones who are driving too fast, (breaking the law). Sure, slower traffic should move right, but they often don’t because they aren’t really paying attention, or maybe they have their speed set on cruise control. I mean, that’s somebody’s grandma, or grandpa, people….just go around. Most of the time, once these folks notice a lot of cars going around them, they will move over. On the other hand, I have seen cars obstinately hold their positions in the left lane, until the tailgater finally gives up and goes around them…and then move over. In other words, I think being “nice”, and “forgiving” is the winning strategy, here.

    Okay, and while I’m on the subject of traffic….I’ve got to get this out of my system:

    I have to go through a very busy traffic cross section at rush hour when I take the girls to dance class. It’s one of those, where the street on which I am approaching the light, only gets a green arrow for about 5 seconds before it turns green, and then the backed up traffic on the other side gets to go. When the light turns red, the busier street gets the green light for about a minute and a half, before we get another opportunity to move. I wish there was a way around this, but due to construction in the area, currently, there just isn’t. So believe me when I tell you, traffic gets really backed up on my side, and I have to watch the light change from green to yellow to red to green etc. several times before I get my turn. Here’s what really frosts me. The person at the front of the line has to be really vigilant and MOVE when we get that green arrow. MOVE! MOVE! MOVE! But invariably, the car in front hesitates for a few moments, and at a light where at least 5 cars should be able to get through, only 2 or three do, and the third one does it after the light has turned red. What’s the matter with these people? Are they hestitating to check both ways? Talking on their cell phones? Daydreaming? I just don’t get it. It’s so inconsiderate. They should know the score. When I’m first in line, man, when that green arrow appears, I’m out like lightening…ZOOM!…and often I’ll look back and see the car behind me lollygagging back the light. I just don’t get it.

  6. Don’t get me started, man!

  7. Skinbad had a question about this over at IB, but he was on the side of the “legal” drivers who drive the speed limit in the passing lane.

    Skinbad’s a great guy, but that there is a mental cancer, is what that is.

  8. What the hell is up with comment # 5?

    NicePinto.

    Chocolate Rain.

  9. Hey they do this thing in Denver metro where you drive in the far left lane, right up to the point where you discover you need to turn right, then turn on your magic blinker that makes all traffic stop, and execute the right turn.

    It’s fun to watch.

    Also there’s the thing where on weekends, you deduct 20 from the speed limit, then drive 5mph under that just to be safe.

    Don’t wanna miss that right turn coming up…

  10. In certain parts of Texas and Oklahoma, the left lane is *strictly* for passing. And I cannot emphasize the *strictly* part enough.

  11. When I was stationed in Holland a friend told me about a trip he took to Germany one weekend. Holland has the same standard that we do regarding the left lane being a passing lane. Germany even more so.

    So my buddy is shooting down the autobahn in this gray BMW he had when he starts running up on oma and opa tooling along in the passing lane at the 100 kilometers per hour speed limit. He’s flashing his lights (the universal move the fuck over signal) and they aren’t responding. By now he’s on their bumper. They still won’t move.

    So he gently rammed them.

    They moved over. He kept going.

    Welcome to NASCAR Europe.

  12. NiceDeb, I cannot for the life of me understand why they make the turn lights so short. Whoever timed them is a total moron. I get stuck with two round of light changes everyday trying to pick my kids up from school. The only reason I don’t zoom out when the light turns green for me is I’m always worried about someone running the light from the other direction.

    But seriously…………..make the dang turn light longer.

  13. So he gently rammed them.

    ha! is that like jumbo shrimp?

  14. Just about, pjm. They managed to stay on the road surface. No damage to his car.

    People need to pay attention when lights change and be ready to make a decision and go. That’s another pet peeve of mine.

  15. Oh I agree. I get so irritated. I go through that whole debate in my head about how long I need to wait before I honk my horn……being from California, I first look at the errant driver and decide whether I think they might shoot me if I do honk.

  16. Hell, I give ’em a look that let’s them know I’ll shoot them restrict their future access to oxygen™ if they don’t get their act together.

  17. crap. time to edit.

  18. Yeah I’d love to do that, but there’s usually these four little creatures with me that ruin all sorts of reckless road fun for me. 😉

  19. We had one or more attempted burglaries in my neighborhood last night. I belong to a nice little neighborhood association (not the kind with covenants) of people who watch out for each other. We get email alerts of stuff like that which I really appreciate.

    Two of my three dogs will go nuts if anyone comes to the door and then the third one will then join in. Hell, they go nuts if someone walks down the sidewalk on the far side of the street. My youngest puppy, who goes between 80 and 90 pounds, is extremely protective of me. I would not want to be on the receiving end of her trying to protect me.

  20. Good grief, busy night in your hood huh?

    I get three to four salesmen at the door, often big black men holding a can of Carpet Fresh. I’m like you don’t think I’m opening the door for you…….right?

    Hell I don’t open the door for small white chicks, but they rarely come knocking in my neighborhood, it’s generally the former.

    I usually just stay quiet and let the dog’s barking take care of their interest in selling me something.

    What’s the best though is when I’m trying to pretend like I’m not home and my kids are like, MOM! MOM! The doorbell! Are you gonna get it? Get the door mom!

    Hopefully the dog’s barking drowns my children out.

  21. Peephole in the door. If the people in the door are that persistent about ringing the bell I would get uneasy. And then I might open the door but I’d have a pistol in my hand behind my back.

    You just don’t know and it’s better to be safe of course.

  22. I don’t feel sorry for Traffic Drama anymore, I have the carpool/child pick-up and drop off at the public school to deal with!!!! You’ve never dealt with traffic problems or road rage until you have children and have to drop them off at school! I didn’t even know where my horn was until my child started kindergarden!!! And I swear it gets worse every year!!!

  23. 21:
    That’s how I deal with the Girl Scouts asking me to buy their cookies.

  24. Balance Sheet™

    *donates rights to the Hillary campaign*

    Mwahahahahahaha!

    *cough*

    *spits up blood*

  25. *RING*

    *RING*

    *Door opens*

    Mr. or Mrs. Rosetta, my name is Brother al-Kickin Whitey Ass. My brothers and I are with the Senator Obama campaign and we’d like to have a serious conversation with you regarding this donation of Balance Sheet™ to the Hildabeast campaign. Oh, don’t mind Brother al-Jerome or Brother al-Tyrone, they always look insanely angry when they see white people. But it don’t mean a thing.

    You see Mr. or Mrs. Rosetta… wait, I gotta ask this first: are you a man or a woman, or something else? As I was saying, if Hildabeast owns the rights to this Balance Sheet™ thing she’ll be able to turn its awesome destructive power of three or four hits per day away from herself and towards Brother Hussein, ah fuck, Barry.

    So we’re asking you, Mr. or Mrs. Rosetta, in a non-threatening, non-whitey hating, and non-ass kicking way to give Balance Sheet™ back to its original owner. ‘kay?

    *THUD*

    Brother al-Tyrone, please push Mr. or Mrs. Rosetta’s feet back inside the doorway so we can get the door closed and let’s get the fuck out of here before the Man shows up.

  26. HAHAHAHAHAHA!!

    That was a good skit. For an A.W.P.™.

  27. Average? Average?

    FUCK!!1!!!!™


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