Posted by: cranky | November 6, 2007

Crime and Punishment

NiceDeb (Best New Blog — go vote like a Democrat) has a good post about the punishment fitting the crime.  Which reminded me of my own thoughts on appropriate punishment for petty crimes.

I have advocated that we use our municipal resources more in the punishment of petty crime.  We’ve got a ball park in Montgomery that has a lot of available time.  I say, we invite the law abiding citizens to the ball park at lunch time on a weekday, and for a minimal donation of $1, they enter to watch petty criminals marched out to second base.  Make the criminal sing Take Me Out to The Ball Game then pull the criminals pants down, and on live local TV so that it will be available for the evening news, paddle them on the bottom until a nice shade of red and tears fall from their eyes.

Get some good announcers and refreshments.  High school kids could get some vocational training on creating the graphics for the TV cameras [Billy Bob Dumbass led the league in paddlings during 2006 and he’s on a pace to better his mark in 2007].   Laugh at the criminals with the wee weiners and the fat asses from the comfort of your seat behind the 1st base dugout.

Now, that’s entertainment!



  1. I don’t think that would fly with people like this:

  2. I’d spank his ass too. Hard.

    The stuff they complain about we went through in basic training as a matter of course. Cold? Tired? Wet? Hungry? Loud noises? Exhausted?

    Check. Check. Check. Check. Check. Check.


    We’ve only done waterboarding to three terrorists? It sure isn’t in widespread use then, is it? That is disappointing.

  3. Way back when I was a kid, we got paddled in school if we misbehaved, and when I say paddled, I mean got our ass beat with a wooden plank with holes drilled in it to make it hurt more.
    I got this treatment for acting like a retard in shop class, and was put in front of 2 classes for my beating, and believe me, it hurt. 3 swats. My parents response? Good, that’s what you get for acting like an idiot.
    Can you even imagine that happening today?

  4. The school would be sued so fast…

  5. Make them sit at the same dinner table as Rosie The Hutt and Michael Moore. That’ll set them straight

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