Posted by: cranky | September 9, 2007

Will I Live to be 80?

I recently had to choose a new primary care physician for my Medicare program. After two visits and exhaustive lab tests, he said I was doing “fairly well” for my age.

A little concerned about that comment, I couldn’t resist asking him, “Do you think I will live to be 80?”

He asked: Do you smoke tobacco or drink alcoholic beverages?”
“Oh no,” I replied. “I don’t do drugs, either.”

“Do you have many friends and entertain frequently?”
“I said, “No, I usually stay home and keep to myself”.

“Do you eat rib-eye steaks and barbecued ribs?”
I said, “No, my other doctor said that all red meat is unhealthy!”

“Do you spend a lot of time in the sun, like playing golf, sailing, hiking, or bicycling?”
“No, I don’t,” I said.

“Do you gamble, drive fast cars, or have a lot of sex?”
“No,” I said. “I don’t do any of those things.”

He looked at me after a moment of deep thought and said, “Then why do you give a shit?”

Thanks to JR of the Vietnam Veterans Home Page.



  1. I saw that one coming.

  2. No! Really?


  3. My dad has always said he would rather die at 65 and have put “a lot of living” in those years than live to be 85 and never have done anything.

  4. Paraphrasing a t-shirt but it went something like better to come in with the engine belching smoke, the tires worn down, and the brakes about gone while shouting “Woo! What a ride.”

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